I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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