I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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