How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Mom said you looked used
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
