GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize