it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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