Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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