If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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