Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
