That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Randomize
