Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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