just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
