i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
