he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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