margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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