I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Where is the hickey?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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