he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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