She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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