this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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