That's when you crack a 10am beer
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
