The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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