he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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