You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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