i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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