Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
