Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
