Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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