Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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