I puked a lego.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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