Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize