we have officially lost it.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
