What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
