Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
