Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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