I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize