Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
