when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
