you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
