I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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