we made out on top of his cat.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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