Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize