So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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