Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i barfeds in our rink
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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