hotel room ftw
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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