Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
