I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize