it hurts more in the daytime
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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