instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
