my room smells like sperm. sweet.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?