How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.