Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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