I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
