so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
