Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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