And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
