its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
