Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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