i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
