if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My life is pants optional.
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