I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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